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“I’ve always wanted to be on the tele ... I can’t sing or dance, I can’t act ... So there’s not much else I can do really. I applied for Take Me Out, and First Dates, but neither of them got back to me ... So I was watching your show, and it was a bit strange, but afterwards everyone was always talking about last night’s show... ‘Did you see the girl from Liverpool? Did you see that Irish teenager? Did you see what the fat girl did with that bloody big dog... ?’ And I’m thinking that could be me, they could all be talking about me, all of the country...”She smiles, looking genuinely excited about the prospect of being infamous.So this is about wanting to be on television rather than wanting to be with a dog... “Of course – who really wants to be with a dog? That’s just weird, isn’t it? It’s ugly and filthy ... You’d only do it to get on tv, wouldn’t you?”We point out that the vast majority of our subjects have been dreaming of having sex with dogs for years before we came along – when. ”“What?““He says they called the room I was sharing with some guy called Ronson. I never had a room! You know that, we came together. I don’t know anyone called Ronson. Why would I want a room with a stranger anyway? John says he’s finished with me. He was coming to tell me something, but now it’s all over.”She broke down and the tears fell.“The lowlife fucking bastards!” Susan mouthed. “They’ve set you up again. You’d have thought Liam would have learned.”“Set me up?”“Liam and Ryan. From what Karen said, Liam was still spinning his lies about John womanising at the conferences, and you wanting to get back with John for his money.“Can’t you see? Liam’s got to Ryan and it looks like the desk receptionist was programmed to tell John you were with this guy Ronson in his room. I bet when he phoned ‘the room’, he phoned an empty one.“They wanted John to think you were in bed with another guy, but we know you were in the party all the time! We were all there with you. Liam is a real idiot;.
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